Fertility Warrior Q & A
I have been asked by a fellow fertility warrior – Strength through infertility to contribute in raising awareness of infertility & childlessness. Set up by Post IVF world, the idea is that bloggers answer a set of 10 questions about their own infertility experiences and then add an extra question that we think others may find useful. In the end there should be a huge amount of information available for people to access which in turn should help raise awareness.
So, here are my answers
- Are you male or female?
- Where are you in your infertility journey?
TTC since 4 years. Primary infertility (never conceived)
- What is your infertility diagnosis if you have one?
- How old were you when you got your diagnosis and how old are you now?
I was 29 when the lightnings and thundering stroke my life: I may never have a baby with my own eggs because very few are left.
- What do you do to keep your spirits up on the tough days?
It is indeed tough to keep up the spirit living with infertility. I am living each day with the belief: Everything happens for a reason. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently for it will surely take place. It will not be denied.
- How do you feel you have been treated by medical professionals?
I myself as a medical professional can’t answer it but I had consulted two specialists. I exactly remember their words. One had said, “The problem is in you not your husband” which definitely did sting me. The other specialist said: “Nature has given you beautiful uterus just that it may not hold your ‘own’ baby.”
- Have you been offered support of any kind?
Honestly, none from near and dear ones. My one of the best friend is standing by me and all the support that I have received till now is by you, the fellow #TTC sisterhood.
- How do your issues affect you on a day to day basis?
Oh! There are no words to explain the feeling of being stared by all the aunties (as if saying: when? Still no?), watching babies in arms, baby stroller everywhere you go, the pregnant bellies, the advertisements of baby soap, diapers, shampoo, pregnancy shoots, announcement, it goes on and on.
- If you could tell yourself something back when you were first diagnosed, what would it be?
This too shall pass!
- Are you open about your infertility? If so, has this helped? If not, is it something you think might help?
I am opening up about my fertility issues. Yes it has definitely helped me. Most of the things I have shared through writings and I am blessed to have so many of you to understand me.
In my day-to-day life the only person I have talked about this is my ‘guy’ friend and I am amazed how well he understood and stood besides me rather than degrading / blaming me.
What advice will you give to the couples fighting infertility?
NO BLAMING ! If you have infertility due to female factors, do not blame her and this goes vice-versa as well.
Be supportive. Trust me the support you give to each other in this tough fight is all that matters. The greatest impact of infertility is not just about difficult to conceive but is on a relationship as well. It either becomes stronger or falls apart.
Living with the bitterness for each other is not how you deal with it.
I am not tagging anyone specific but I would like anyone of you going through the same journey as ours, do take up this tag. The answers will be a reflection of your insights.