I Have Begun To Hate The Words – “Good News”

Warning: You may not like this post if you are already blessed with a child. So stop reading.

Your friend is pregnant. Okay! You are happy for her because by now you have accepted the fact that it is not coming easy for you. 

Then, your husband’s friend had second child. SECOND! and you do not have even the first and then he is pissed off because of THIS news. NOW, you are devastated because even though you have acknowledge the infertility, THE GOOD NEWS still stings. Moreover because your partner STILL shuts himself off after such news.

Good news for them, not for you! Isn’t it? How can you explain the “not in 1 in 8” population IT ISN’T EASY TO GET THAT BFP (not even once). 

anger gif

I have A: acknowledged my infertility and A: Accepted it. I am not angry at myself. I do not cry over watching pregnant bellies. I am not even jealous of them. The only thought goes inside my head is – ‘One day for sure.’ It is just that it is taking time and I am waiting.

IVF UPDATE:

Month: Sixth

Result: Cancellation of FET transfer. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Hormones: Check

Hysteroscopy: Check

Medicines: Tonnes of them. 

Endometrium: Giving away due to high estrogen (probably) given for the damn lining to grow in the first place.

What I want: Break from all of this.

Reality: I HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT. NO MATTER WHAT. 

Bank account: Depleting

LIFE MINUS THE IVF LIFE

Work: Not interested

Likes:

Food:

  • Smoothie with flax seeds and almonds
  • Jaggery to keep up Hemoglobin
  • Apple

Listening to:

Songs: Unplugged collection in Amazon Prime Music

You Are a Badass – How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

Pick of the Week: 

Sadhguru – How To Get EVERYTHING You WANT

I do not follow spirituality. I am not an atheist. I only believe there is a ‘creator’. I do not follow any one or the many idol form of God. I do not have any spiritual guru.

But all said, I listen to the ones which my heart says – Yes! 

Thank you for reading if you have come till the end. See you soon. 🙂

infertility sadness | infertility anger | infertility inspiration


One thought on “I Have Begun To Hate The Words – “Good News”

  1. I can totally relate to this….do we have any choice other thank feeling low and demotivated….infertility sucks ….
    we just need to hold on….our time will come …take care

    Liked by 1 person

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